I've had "Fable," a dark bay Holsteiner gelding, in training
for a number years. I adore him. He's a handsome fellow with more than a couple
of interesting quirks.
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| Fable - busy thinking |
Let me be very clear that the very first time I met him he
oozed attitude. It was a while ago, so I'd be lying if I said I saw something
more noble under that sullen and disrespectful demeanor. However, I know myself
well enough to say that I must have. I like a challenge, but I'm no fool. I
want at least a flicker of hope that I'll succeed before I start a project.
Otherwise, why bother? And frankly, with a horse, why put yourself at such
physical risk?
Since that first meeting, Fable has taught me well.
He has taught me that cooperation requires respect from both
parties.
His "you can't make me" attitude has shown me that
"yes, I can" must not only be accompanied by firmness, but also a
willingness to change an approach when no progress is noted, coupled with a
dogged determination to focus on the clarity of the goal.
He has taught me not to let a moment of disagreement dissolve
into a fight where the focus becomes the fight.
No one wins in that situation.
So, what has been the outcome? Has he abandoned his
attitude, donned the mantle of submission? Transformed into a shining example
of cooperation?
Well … not exactly.
He's lost the sullenness, but he's retained his opinionated
personality. Sure, his first reaction is still to argue when he doesn't
understand a request, but the arguments are brief (far less explosive) and
simply a way of communicating that he is unclear. He knows I'm listening to him
-- no need to wage a war.
And here's the really cool thing: Once he understands, he
not only does what he's asked, but improves with each repetition. I call that,
"generosity." I'd never have known he possessed that quality of
spirit when we first met.
